I hope that's not King Louis IX's cake!

I don't know what prompted me to do such a thing, but I found a list of famous people who share my birthday, which isn't today by the way. I have listed the talents that they have, that due to birthday osmosis, I now possess.

• Tim Duncan-ability to win an NBA championship and grow a semi-fro
• Jacque Jones-ability to swing a mediocre bat, play solid defense, and earn several million dollars
• Hank Azaria-can now imitate the venerable Apu
• a dude from ABBA
• Al Pacino-ability to get confused with DeNiro
• Ella Fitzgerald-ability to sing some swingin' jazz tunes
• Guglielmo Marconi-invent a fancy new type of radio that works by satellite, whoops
• Tchaikovsky-can now write some scary classical music that millions of incoming freshmen will be forced to listen to in their Intro to Music course
• Oliver Cromwell-force my odd religion onto others, and perhaps have it mutate and become a culture similar to that of the Amish
• King Louis IX-be a fat guy who wears a crown and executes wives. Actually I don't know if that's the right king, but frankly, they're all sterotyped, so I don't know if many people will even notice.